Asphyxiated
by Ravenclaw Black Mamba
Summary: When Tony threatens to take Peter's suit, he expects some resistance. What he doesn't expect is for Peter to start hyperventilating and pass out, whimpering and begging to someone called Mr Benson. Tony doesn't know who that is, but if he hurt his little Spidey, then by god is Tony going to hurt them back. Please read trigger warnings in Author's Note! *DISCONTINUED*
1. Chapter 1

**_Hi everyone! Quick but_ important _note: this fic is quite dark and will have many potential triggers. I will have a trigger warning in each chapter, but here is a quick run-through of what I will include in this fic._**

 ** _Trigger Warnings: Rape, sexual assault, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, self harm, suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide and eating disorders._**

 ** _Please please_ please _do not read this fic if you think this any of these will trigger you at all, I want you all to stay safe and healthy. Look after yourself!_**

 _After Civil War, Captain America and his side agree to turn themselves in if they can have a say in the Accords once they sign, and if Bucky is pardoned. Tony agrees instantly and, although things are strained to begin with, the team's rapport wins through and they are all a family once more. The Avengers, especially Natasha, Bucky, Steve and Wanda, treat Peter as their little brother, and protect him as much as they can. A few months after that, Bruce Banner returned and resumed his role as scientist and medic for the team. He and Peter bond instantly over their shared love of science._

 ** _"If you're nothing without the suit, then you shouldn't have it at all."_**

Peter stepped back from his mentor in shock. His breath quickened as the sentence ran through his head on repeat, growing louder and louder until it was all he heard.

 _You're nothing, Peter. Nothing but a disappointment. Nothing but a pathetic little whore. You think you can be a hero? You can't even defend yourself from your own teacher, not even when he fucked you like the slut you are._ _ **You're disgusting, dirty, broken -**_

Peter gasped, trying frantically to draw in enough air to breathe. He clawed at his chest, desperately trying to stop the pain that was building in his lungs. He dimly noticed Mr Stark stepping closer to him in concern, but in his terror-induced panic, all he saw was his dreaded teacher Mr Benson, the one who had caused him so much torment, so much _pain._

"N-no! Please, don't. I-I'm sorry I _swear_ just please don't! I didn't-didn't mean to mess up Mr Benson I'll do better I promise I will- no, **_please_**!"

Tony Stark watched his charge with mounting horror at the words escaping the young man's lips. _Who was Mr Benson, and what had he done to Peter?_

"Hey, kiddo. It's okay, it's just me. I'm not gonna hurt you, you hear me? I've got you." Tony started murmuring words of comfort to the shaking teen, but to no avail. Peter's begging was replaced by hysterical sobs, tears coursing down his face whilst his shoulders rose and fell and his chest heaved.

"Sir," F.R.I.D.A.Y warned Tony, "Peter is about to fall unconscious due to asphyxiation, I would advise that you seek medical help immediately, preferably from Dr Banner, as he is aware of Peter's enhanced metabolism and so will be able to control doses of any medication with more accuracy."

As the A.I. spoke the hyperventilating boy swayed on the spot and almost collapsed, stopped only by the arm Tony quickly shot out to support him. Tony spoke through the com mic in his suit.

"Whoever's at the Tower right now, prep the med bay. Peter's…. Peter needs help. _Fast._ "

"It's okay Tony, Clint's notifying Bruce right now. Can he be moved?"

Tony nearly sobbed with relief at Steve's calm voice.

"Y-yeah, he can. I'm bringing him in now. I'll be there in ten."

"Ok Tony. Just stay calm, yeah? Peter needs you to be calm."

Tony blasted off with the limp teen in his arms and flew to the Tower. He noticed with concern that the boy was no longer moving.

" _Hang on, Peter, I've got you kiddo._ "

When Steve first moved back into Stark Tower, the last thing he expected was to befriend Tony's young intern, Peter. But befriend him he did. The teen was so damn lovable it was impossible not to adore his excited ramblings, his embarrassed whinges when Tony mothered him, his heartfelt comments that reminded you just _how_ unworthy the world was of his presence. So when Steve found out the irrepressible young man was the same person that stole his shield when Stark and he had their little _spat_ , he was understandably shocked. Like, " _Tony Stark Spiderman is your_ intern _he's just a kid OH MY GOD I COULD HAVE KILLED A KID WHEN HE WAS IN GERMANY TONY WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU_ _ **THINKING!?"**_ kind of shocked. But once he'd gotten over that, he came to feel the same way about Peter as you would a kid brother.

He was _insanely_ protective of the young hero, even going so far as to turn up at Peter's school after he found out some brat called Flash Thomson was bullying him. _No-one_ hurts his family. So when he walked in the front gates of the school and saw _his_ Peter _, his_ little brother, being pushed and shoved and taunted and beaten by some stuck up little _shit,_ the great Captain America saw red. He stalked up to the two adolescents, one smug and cruel, one resigned and hurt, and ripped the larger boy away.

"Mr C-captain America, sir!" the bully gabbled. "I-I was just chatting with my frie-"

"I don't like bullies." The cold, hard voice made the boy shut up quickly. "Now," Steve continued, "You're going to get up, apologise to Peter _immediately_ , fuck off and _never hurt my little brother again!_ " His voice rose to furious roar, and Flash flinched.

"Yessir sorry sir." He said quickly, then turned to Peter and said "I'm really really sorry!" He sped off instantly, not wanting to spend any more time around the livid Captain America. He looked like he was about to tear someone's arm off, and his voice didn't dissuade anyone of the notion.

But when Steve knelt at Peter's side, is demeanour was completely different.

"Peter? Hey kiddo, it's me. You okay?" The young man in question had his head bowed, hiding his face from the older hero's questioning gaze.

"Please Pete? Come on buddy, can you look at me?" The Captain's voice was soft and kind, and almost _beseeching_ the smaller hero to lift his head. The young man slowly turned his head to look at Steve, and the older man could have cried with relief.

"I'm sorry."

Steve couldn't believe the words coming out of Peter's mouth.

"Peter, what the hell? You have absolu-"The teen cut him off.

"I'm sorry I'm so weak. I'm sorry I couldn't protect myself. You must think I'm so _pathetic._ "

"No. Peter, listen to me. You are not weak. There is no weakness in this. You were bullied by someone with more power than you, and there is no shame in that." Steve tried to stress to Peter.

"But that's the thing, he's _not_ more powerful than me. My enhanced abilities mean that I could break his _spine_ with one punch. I-I didn't want to hurt him or anyone else, so I let him hurt me. Don't you understand? I. _Let._ Him! That's what makes me weak."

"No! No, no, no! Peter, that doesn't make you weak, that makes you _strong._ You're saying that you are willing to let go of your pride, of your dignity, just so that others aren't harmed. That is _phenomenally_ strong! Stronger than I have ever been."

Peter looked lost, and Steve's heart broke a little at the forlorn look on the younger man's face.

He decided that they had been on the school steps for too long, and rose to his feet, gently pulling Peter up with him.

"Come on kiddo," he said, "Let's go home." And they did.

After that, Steve practically perfected the 'helicopter parent' thing. He was _constantly_ on the watch for anything that could pose a threat to his little Peter. The other Avengers noticed, but chose not to comment. After all, Steve could be _scary_ when he wanted to.

"…eve? Steve. STEVE!" Steve was pulled out of his reverie by the voice of Natasha Romanoff, better known as Black Widow.

He found his voice. "Yeah?"

"What's going on? Clint just ran to the Med Bay like a man possessed, you're spacing out and Tony and Peter are missing. Explain."

Steve sighed resignedly.

"I don't even know. Tony just called ahead to say that Peter was in a bad way, and that the Med Bay needed to be prepped for him. Other than that, I have no more info."

Nat scowled at the thought of Peter being hurt.

"Who touched my маленький паук? They will regret that. Maybe I'll pay someone a little visit tomorrow." She vowed.

Steve smiled tiredly at the show of support.

"I'm sure he'll appreciate that Nat."

Tony barely breathed the entire journey to the Tower. His heartbeat ponded like drums in his head, and all he could think of was the steadily cooling body of his young protégée.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, open the window in the Med Bay. I'm going to enter through there."

"Yes Boss." The A.I answered.

Tony swooped in and landed in the Bay. Bruce was waiting there for him, and quickly directed him to place an unresponsive Peter on a bed. The medic checked his vitals using F.R.I.D.A.Y and cursed. He attached the boy to an oxygen mask. Tony sat down heavily on the chair next to the bed and buried his face in his hands, trying regulate his own breathing before he passed out.

"Tony, I know this is stressful for you but I need you to explain exactly what happened. Why is Peter unconscious?"

"I-I don't know, I just confronted Peter about how he was being irresponsible, he went after some Vulture dude _by himself_ , and I told him to hand over his suit. He protested that he was nothing without the suit and…. I _may_ have overreacted. I said that…. If you're nothing without the suit then you don't deserve it at all. And he just…. _Stopped._ He started gasping and sobbing and pleading to someone called Mr Benson, I don't know who that is, and he stopped breathing and I saw his eyes and I swear to god Bruce I've never been more terrified in my life. The-the pain I saw in them, fucking hell what has he experienced to _feel_ like that? And it scared me so _much_ Bruce I-I…."

"Hey, Tony, _breathe._ Peter's okay now, he's breathing. You need to calm down, okay? Otherwise, you'll end up just like him. You need to be strong for him. Can you do that?"

Tony shuddered as he drew in a deep breath.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay."

Bruce looked visibly relieved. He adjusted the blanket draped over Peter's small form.

"Good," he replied. "Now, you need some rest. Go to bed, and you can come back first thing tomorrow okay? Okay."

Tony went slightly limp at the thought of bed. When he thought about it, he was _exhausted._ It had been a very long day. Add that to the scare Peter had given him, it was about time he got some sleep.

"Goodnight Bruce." He said. "And Peter? You better get well soon buddy, you hear me? Goodnight kiddo. I-I love you little one." He whispered, afraid that if he said it out loud it wouldn't be true. But it was.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Very VERY important trigger warning:_**

 ** _Mildly graphic description of rape. If this is a trigger for you, please do not read this chapter. If you want to know what happened, please feel free to PM me for a short chapter summary._**

 ** _Enjoy!_**

Peter couldn't breathe. Admittedly, it was a sensation he'd gotten used to over the past few years, but he supposed it still was probably not great. But he couldn't help it. Every time he closed his eyes, Mr Benson's leering face grinned sickly at him, filling his mind with panic.

His chest rose sporadically, his lungs screaming for air. He was in the classroom after school, his teacher's disappointed face-

 _No, he was in the tower, he was safe!_

The older man speaking gently, almost regretfully, as though really _did_ care about Peter, as though he really didn't want to do this to hi-

 _I'm fine, I'm safe, Jesus Parker, get a fucking grip. Come on, breathe!_

Hands gripping Peter's hips hard enough to bruise. Lips, hot and wet on his skin, bit and licked, violating every inch of his crawling skin. The bruising grip on his hips moved to the waistline of his jeans. Swiftly, expertly, the invading hands removed his pants, as well as his underwear. He stood there, naked and humiliated, his teacher's eyes roving over his lower half, then the eyes were followed by his hands. Suddenly Peter was pushed over a desk, and Mr Benson's hands were replaced by something… _else_. It burned, hot and cruel and angry, and Peter wanted to scream. His insides were tearing, being _filled_ by something wrong, that shouldn't be there. And still those bruising hands, and still that wet mouth, and Peter had never felt so disgusting, so violated, so _wrong_. And everything was too bright and too strong and too loud and too much and Peter still couldn't breathe but he _screamed._

Bucky couldn't sleep. His mind was on other things. Namely, the 16-year-old in the Med Bay of the tower. _Peter_. The kid. _His_ kid, practically, once he thought about it. The two men, one older and one younger, just seemed to click. Peter brightened his day with his sharp wit, kindness and boundless enthusiasm, and in return Bucky kept him stable and sane in a world of insanity and danger. He _protected_ Peter.

So when Peter started screaming with enough force to be heard from the other side of the floor, Bucky was already tearing to his side.

"Hey, Pete kiddo, wake up. Come on, it's only a dream. I'm here." A litany of comfort and love poured from his lips, urging the boy to wake. And wake he did.

"No! Please, s-stop, I'm sorry! Please." the boy said brokenly.

"Shh, I'm not going to hurt you, I promise."

Peter gasped. "Can't- can't breathe. Bucky, help me I-I can't _breathe_ and it hurts so much and-"

The silver armed man's insistent voice cut through the haze of Peter's mind. Taking the boy's hand in his own living one, he gently pulled him up to a sitting position.

"Okay Peter, I know this is hard, but you need to breathe. Come on kiddo, listen to my breathing okay? Hear how steady it is?"

Peter nodded shakily.

"Good. Now, I want you to match your breathing to mine, alright? Breathe with me: in for four counts, hold for seven, and out for eight."

Together, the two men breathed in the night, one steady and calm, the other slowly becoming so himself.

It was one A.M when Bucky judged Peter calm enough.

"Hey kiddo, do you want me to leave, or would you prefer I stay?"

Peter glanced up shyly. He gnawed on his lip for a moment, then replied.

"If- if you don't mind, I'd like it if you stayed."

"Of course kiddo." Bucky said easily. He settled Peter back down and sat on the chair beside the teen's bed.

"Actually, um, I don't want to weird or clingy or anything but would you mind um, this sounds really weird, but will you come into, um, into my bed with me I just don't want to be alone and the bed is kinda cold and oh god this sounds weird Jesus Christ just ignore what I've said I'm so stupid I'm sorry I-"

"Peter. Shut up."

The teen stopped babbling and looked at Bucky with wide, embarrassed eyes.

"Of course I will. I 100% understand what it's like to need physical comfort and security. Now lie down again and I'll snuggle with you till morning." Bucky's heart swelled for the young man in the bed beside him. It took a lot of courage for people his age, especially boys, to ask for physical affection in that way (in other words, hugs), particularly with other men. Of course, what did it mean for Peter's mental state that he was in need of _that_ much comfort?

 _Who has hurt my Peter? I will kill them. Slowly and painfully. I swear it."_

"Hmm. Warm."

So thought Peter as he slowly and groggily woke.

"Wait. Why is it so warm? Not that I'm complaining, but…"

He lethargically blinked his eyes, trying to clear them of the gunk that clogged them. Wow. He couldn't remember the last time he slept this well. Normally he woke up due to nightmares or-

Oh.

As the memories from last night flooded back into his mind, he realised that he was cocooned in Bucky's arms, and the taller, broader man was curled around him, as though still protecting Peter even in his sleep. Even as he watched, though, the soldier opened his eyes and smiled sleepily at Peter.

"Hey there kiddo," he greeted softly.

Peter blushed. _Hard_.

"Oh, uh, hey Bucky, how are you, I mean good morning um yeah. Hi."

 _Oh my god Peter get a grip on yourself._

To Peter's surprise, Bucky merely smiled at him once more and asked him whether he'd like breakfast. With a start Peter realised that he was, in fact, incredibly hungry, and he nodded enthusiastically.

"All right then kiddo, let's get some food into you. And then we are going to talk about last night."

Peter gulped.

Bucky eyed Peter as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. The young teen was half-heartedly picking at his food, obviously nervous about the coming conversation.

"Eat."

The boy scowled lightly and glared at his plate. He released a frustrated breath and dropped his cutlery, his small, slender hands forming fists in his lap.

"I just… it's not that I'm not hungry, I am; it's just that I feel like I'll be sick if I eat anything. So, I guess if I don't eat anything I won't be sick, and that's better for everyone."

 _Oh Peter, please let me help you._

"Peter, please just eat something. You're actually going to die if you don't."

Bucky thought he would receive any kind of answer from the boy. What Peter responded with made his heart stop.

"Maybe…. Maybe I'd prefer that outcome."

 _Fuck. No, no, no that's wrong he can't mean it no no no no nono._

"Peter. Please, tell me you don't mean that. Tell me you don't…"

The resigned look on his face. The lowered eyes. Fiddling hands. All of these, pieced together, showed Bucky the truth.

"Okay." _Breathe._ "Okay." _In. Out. Breathe._ "How long have you felt this way?"

"I… since my Uncle Ben died. Two months after I became Spiderman."

"Peter, that's almost two _years!_ How has no one noticed?"

"Well I don't exactly parade the fact around do I? I don't need to give people any more reason to think I'm a freak, they think that enough as it is."

Bucky's heart broke for the 16-year-old sat across from him. He himself could remember feeling a similar way after coming back to himself out of the control HYDRA had over him. But he was an adult, with friends he could trust to help him.

Peter, on the other hand, well…..

He was a _kid._ How could he be expected to deal with this kind of thing?

Bucky didn't know, but he sure as hell was going to find out.

Peter was confused. Why did Bucky care? After all, Peter was just some pathetic little kid. Someone who couldn't fight off-

NO!

Panting, the teen forcefully directed his mind away from that topic and glared sullenly down at his breakfast. Bucky had left the table, so he was alone with his thoughts. Or so he thought.

"Hello маленький паук."

Peter cursed and spun around wildly to face Tasha.

"Oh my _god_ Nat, please never do that again. I don't think my heart could take it."

The former assassin laughed, light and airy, and lowered herself gracefully into the seat beside the boy.

"No promised kiddo."

She sat there silently for a moment, seemingly studying the adolescent facing her. Eventually Peter grew impatient.

"What? What is it?"

Natasha seemed to jolt herself out of a trance, and grinned at the boy.

"Don't you have school today?"

" _SHIT!_ "


	3. Chapter 3 - Author's Note

Hi everyone!

Unfortunately, I've decided to discontinue this work. It was poorly planned (I didn't plan at all) and as a result, it was all over the place.

I'm going to keep it up on this site as it was my first ever fanfic, but I am not going to update it again.

You are more than welcome to adopt this fic: take it, change it, run wild with it! No need to get my permission, I give you all full rein. I just ask that you credit me.

Other than that, my friends, it's all yours!

Thanks


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